Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Okay, so this is awesome

Alright, for awhile there I was down on the poor Spiegel, my trusty German newspaper, for having some pretty lame articles. But this? This redeems them all. They have started doing a piece about how STRANGE Europe is. Now, we already knew they were strange, but no, these guys went and highlighted the specifics. You gotta see this. I figure it's oh-so-appropriate for the 4th of July weekend.

Lekeitio, Spain. In September they have a festival where they string a goose out across the river and grease it. Then a contestant is rowed out on a boat, leaps out to it, and grabs tight to it's neck. Then the rope it's bound to is tightened and loosened, bobbing the goose and grabber into the water. And what is the point? To decapitate the fowl. Don't worry, it's already dead before it is strung up. However, these guys would get along just great in my home state. Colorado is proud home to the town of Fruita where in May they celebrate "Mike the Headless Chicken." Okay, if you don't know what this is, you have to check it out. I can not do it justice.

What to do if you find yourself in North Scotland, lying roughly on the same latitude as Alaska, in January? Why not set fire to a gally? That's exactly what they do during the festival of Up-Helly-Aa. Viking dress up, drunken story telling, and a long boat burning are all part of the fun. While over in Nederland, Colorado, they have their own way to celebrate some old Frozen Dead Guys. Not vikings, but rather a man who was found, in a make shift cryo-stasis chamber, in someones basement. Yep, apparently that's all you need to do to get your very own holiday in some parts of the world.

What would you do for a scrumptious 4 kilo wheel of Double Gloucester cheese? Well, if you live near Glouchester, England the answer is simply put in the Cooper Hill Cheese Rolling and Wake. What you do? Find the biggest, steepest hill you can. Release the cheese down the hill. Then release the Havarti hopefuls. Now, this hill is so steep that the cheese reaches speeds of 70 miles per hour. What do you think happens to a human, running down a hill after said cheese? Physics students anywhere? They trip, and fall, and roll uncontrollably down the hill. The winner is the first one down and gets the cheese. And most likely a free trip to the hospital in one of the waiting ambulances. You can't make this shit up people. Check it out.

Speaking of things that I couldn't make up if I wanted too... have you ever been to a party, looked around and thought, "Man, what a sausage fest"? Well, you've NEVER been to a penis party like this. In Tyrnavos, Greece, on the first Monday of lent they have a very special "members only" party where the package takes center stage.

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