Weasel Stomping Day

For those of you who care about such things, the first of February's pointless "holidays" is upon us. That's right, the time of year when people from across the country look toward a groundhog to tell them if we'll have an 6 more weeks of winter based on whether or not the rotund rodent views its shadow. Not that, you know, the first day of spring is March 20th this year which happens to be 46 days from now, otherwise known as 6 and a half weeks. Hmmm, funny that.
But, for those of you who care what those pudgy prognosticators predicted for us this year... here you go.

A case of Good Steve, Bad Steve

So, I've heard that Windows 7, whenever you get online with it, will open an unavoidable, perminant port between your computer and Microsoft, sending off all sorts of information about where you're going and what you're doing. Bad, horrible Microsoft! Why can't you be more like Apple... shining becon of hope that it is?! Goodness, look! Apple now offers us DRM FREE iTunes downloads! See Microsoft?! Apple loves us and respects our privacy. Why, they'd never, say, make it so that every song you download imbeds your account information and private information ONTO itself so that if you ever share it, whoever gets hold of that file will also have your personal information... would they?



Oops.

Double Duchie!

Big news in New York this week as Double Dutch becomes an officially sanctioned sport in the NYC sports curriculum. Described in the article as a pastime "in which competitors jump between two ropes twirled eggbeater-style", they officials in charge of this decision look at it as a new way to encourage more kids to get active in aerobic activities... and don't forget a good way to funnel more money into sports programs in schools. But really... it makes you ponder. Inter-school competitions? Scoring? Cheerleaders?
And what's next? DDR as an official sport? Guitar Hero and Rock Band as an official music program?

Okay, so this is awesome

Alright, for awhile there I was down on the poor Spiegel, my trusty German newspaper, for having some pretty lame articles. But this? This redeems them all. They have started doing a piece about how STRANGE Europe is. Now, we already knew they were strange, but no, these guys went and highlighted the specifics. You gotta see this. I figure it's oh-so-appropriate for the 4th of July weekend.

Lekeitio, Spain. In September they have a festival where they string a goose out across the river and grease it. Then a contestant is rowed out on a boat, leaps out to it, and grabs tight to it's neck. Then the rope it's bound to is tightened and loosened, bobbing the goose and grabber into the water. And what is the point? To decapitate the fowl. Don't worry, it's already dead before it is strung up. However, these guys would get along just great in my home state. Colorado is proud home to the town of Fruita where in May they celebrate "Mike the Headless Chicken." Okay, if you don't know what this is, you have to check it out. I can not do it justice.

What to do if you find yourself in North Scotland, lying roughly on the same latitude as Alaska, in January? Why not set fire to a gally? That's exactly what they do during the festival of Up-Helly-Aa. Viking dress up, drunken story telling, and a long boat burning are all part of the fun. While over in Nederland, Colorado, they have their own way to celebrate some old Frozen Dead Guys. Not vikings, but rather a man who was found, in a make shift cryo-stasis chamber, in someones basement. Yep, apparently that's all you need to do to get your very own holiday in some parts of the world.

What would you do for a scrumptious 4 kilo wheel of Double Gloucester cheese? Well, if you live near Glouchester, England the answer is simply put in the Cooper Hill Cheese Rolling and Wake. What you do? Find the biggest, steepest hill you can. Release the cheese down the hill. Then release the Havarti hopefuls. Now, this hill is so steep that the cheese reaches speeds of 70 miles per hour. What do you think happens to a human, running down a hill after said cheese? Physics students anywhere? They trip, and fall, and roll uncontrollably down the hill. The winner is the first one down and gets the cheese. And most likely a free trip to the hospital in one of the waiting ambulances. You can't make this shit up people. Check it out.

Speaking of things that I couldn't make up if I wanted too... have you ever been to a party, looked around and thought, "Man, what a sausage fest"? Well, you've NEVER been to a penis party like this. In Tyrnavos, Greece, on the first Monday of lent they have a very special "members only" party where the package takes center stage.

So, a gnomeling walks into a bar...

Hey everyone, so this is sort of a cop out post. I'll admit it when it happens. But I'll also give my reasons.
First of all, I've recently added new content that I read everyday. I'm expanding my global view. This is pushing my daily news post count up into the mid to high 400's. Second, for some reason this weekend either my computer or my internet connection (or both) was moving at a snail's pace and I was not able to keep up with the 2000+ news articles that came in over this weekend while I was busy with a LAN and D&D.
So, I have a quick few items to pass along, but for the most part, my news went unread. So, I issue a challenge to any of you who actually read my blog. What did I miss this weekend? Fill me in on some news. Go to the comments section and fill a guy in on what went on in the world while he had his head buried in different ones.

As for what I have to pass on. First off, some presidential candidates show their mental prowess in the field of science this week. McCain passes on the gem of wisdom that injections cause autism. Obama, alternately, takes loftier subjects and aims for the stars, impressing a knowledge of the benefits of encouraging a space program, instead of suffocating it.

And finally, in exciting news, I'll get my glasses soon!

So, got lots to go over today. I'll try not to leave it as just a link dump, but that's basically what we have here.
First of all, we look into the world of schooling. Things are much different in school than I remember. First of all, we find that one school set up a Teenage toilet cam. And the kicker? The principal says he knows who set it up, but they won't punish them, even though they acted completely out of line. I'm sorry, but I think any teacher should be fired for pulling this crap.
Also, you all may remember how they down graded Pluto and did a bunch of other crap concerning our solar system, no containing 11 planets and dwarf planets. So that means that a new planet mnemonic is in order.
And finally it just seems that some people watch way too many movies and anime when a 39 year old man thinks he can infiltrate a school dressed like a school girl. To him I say High School is not a cosplay competition.
You may remember that a few days earlier I reported on the ruins in Peru turning out to be just a sandstone formation. Well now it seems that there are more Peruvian ruins that have popped up. Good for them for staying active in finding lost stuff. I wonder if they can next excavate my old house keys.
So... there was going to be more, but after staring at the screen for an hour... I figured this is enough. I'm off to bed. More tomorrow.

Prophetic pictures and plumber parties

So, I just could wait to get this information out to you, my tea party guests.

First off, continuing to prove that Warren Ellis is a prophet, I bring you this picture. Read the comic. It should look familiar.

Second, this has to be the coolest cocktail party idea ever. Mario is my drinking buddy!

I release a general sigh of discontent, my readers, as this has been an abundant week for submissions to the Idiot of the week. A veritable smorgasborg of stupidity. Be on the look out for that on Friday as it will be a rather difficult decision this week. There will be runners up posted.

A blast from the past as archeologists discover pyrimidal structures in Peru. I'm constantly amazed by these people as I thought that by now they surely have run out of history to find and that anything else lost can only be found by the ilk of Indiana Jones and Lara Croft. Happily I am wrong and look forward to finding out what new information this dig can shed on the highly unknown Vicus culture.

China has created strange bed fellows this week as a new law in place to help stimulate its own fledgling animation industry will create outlaws of two rodents of particular influence, among other cartoons. Yes, all these beloved characters will be banned from airing in China, at least during prime time.

On a far more grander scale, it appears that a new number has risen above the rabble to show its mighty head as the new universal number, greater than even the mighty 42. Yes, folks, due to several numeric manipulations, scientists have found a new large number constant popping up, and swear that this isn't numeralogy at work. Seen the movie Pi? Yeah... I have my doubts on that one, but, we'll see how this pans out.

In celestial news this week, it appears that there will be a nice lunar eclipse to view on Wednesday. Really a fun event if there is anyone who has not witnessed one before, and it will be the last time we get to see one until 2010.

La LA la la la laa, la lala la laa. That, for those of you who cannot hear music from words written on a screen, is the theme to that classic childhood cartoon, The Smurfs. Now, regardless of your views on the origin of this cartoon, this preview for the upcoming movie looks promising. I know I'll be lining up to watch. However, the idea was passed around at how funny a live action attempt would be at this. Discussed was how David Cross would make an excellent Gargamel, and how Vin Diesel should be Handy Smurf.

And finally today, in keeping with my past rants about the future, I bring you two different articles concerning artificial intelligence. From the BBC network comes the bold claim that Artificial intelligence should be able to reach human level by 2029. A bold claim indeed. They go so far as to imply that this simulated intellegence will be able to also imitate our emotional intelligence. Just imagine chatting with someone online and not being sure if you are speaking with a person, or a machine...
Which leads me in to the second article brought from Scientific America in which David Levy discusses the, not just possibility, but probability of sex, love and even marriage to robots by mid-century. Intruiging. Reading the article, I find that David follows a wholly pragmatic view of the whole situation. I will grant him that many humans to react positively to any sort of attention, I fear that his love for technology has blinded him to the unpleasentries of humanity. What we would have is entities that have all the capability of a human, being used (and I don't use that word lightly) in any number of ways, simply by minor adjustment to programming. And then the question of robot rights comes up. Are they just machines? They will have the intelligence and emotional capabilities of humans, so do we give them rights like humans? How far do we go? While I applaude science and what it can achieve, I'm afraid that in this little chunk of the future brought closer and closer to us, I will watch with a cynical eye.

Even though I started the last paragraph with "finally", I will have the real finality here. Giant, bowling-ball sized, prehistoric frog with fangs and armor. Beelzebufo... Devil Frog.

On a lighter note

So tonight I decided to have a much more upbeat blog. Surfing around I found that one of the best military comedies is having a remarkable rebirth.
On an unrelated note, looks like the question of what age one becomes senile could possibly be answered by the news this week. Well... perhaps some people could actually figure out how many fingers they were holding up. Oops... forgot to carry that one.

Today's post is short for a number of reasons. I really didn't feel like harping on anyone or anything... and I just got a pretty new white monolithic gaming device that I had to pay some attention to. More tomorrow.

The creepy, the crazy, and the clandestine

So, first off, I'd like to ask, am I the only one who feels like Microsoft has turned into the creepy stalker man? Applause to Engadget, who hit this one square on the head and drive it all the way in, picture and all. In high school I had the unfortunate experience of being dubbed a "stalker" due to holding open doors, as a courtesy. I can't imagine if I had taken this route.
Let me paraphrase for Microsoft. Ehem. "I love you babe. I really do. You don't really mean that you don't want me. But don't worry. I KNOW that "no" means "maybe". And I will just keep on hounding you until you break down." *shudder* And "consummate"... really?
Con-sum-mate -- Adjective: to complete (the union of a marriage) by the first marital sexual intercourse.
And now I quote Yakko Warner. "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... Good night folks."

Okay, next topic, I would like to do a giant "what the fuck" to the country. What is this? Okay, it wasn't a real gun, granted, but still... how did the parents let this get TO the school. "What you got there Billy?" "Oh, it's for show and tell mommy." Whatever, that aside, I remember being in middle school when the outlawed us from having Pogs! Milk bottle tops. Worth nothing. But kids were losing them to one another and the administration decided it just wasn't going to happen. A gun?! A GUN! I'm sorry I'm having trouble getting over this one or actually articulating just how much more this makes me hate the general S.Q. of the country. And in case my sarcasm wasn't obvious, that would be Stupidity Quotient.

Finally, I have been trying so very hard to ignore this... I really have, but it fills me with more rage than anything I've seen so far. I almost weep for this country. But not quite. So... instead I spew venom. So, here goes.
First off, to anyone who thinks that "Anonymous" is against the Freedom of Speech or religion due to their recent protests really needs to re-read your Constitution. What they do and ARE is the First amendment to its fullest!
Well, moving on. I really need to speak to all you so called journalists out there covering this story. You, right there, with the pen and the keyboard. Walk away. Put it down. You are failing. Fox in particular. If you haven't already showed us that you do NOT participate in what is commonly called "investigative journalism", this just furthers your blunders. You see, all you media monkeys banging away at your keyboards, you are, not the butt, the huge ASS of a really bad joke. Had you done just a tiny little research you would have realized. It would take 10 minutes of looking to find that "Anonymous" always looks for targets. And they are good. Ever heard of Hal Turner? A pet project of "Anonymous", and the more he fought back, the more he gave them notice, the more they attacked. Like a cat playing with a moth or a mouse. "Over nine thousand" members of Anonymous? Yeah... that's exactly what you walked into. Don't you feel like and assagore now? And what sickens me the most? Not ONE person who should be reading this rant will be.

I'm going to go play something violent. Video game review to come.

Idiot of the Week 2

This week findind my idiot was not hard. I didn't have to look for him, he came right to me. Once again, my source comes from work.
It started like any other call. I was returning a voice mail from a merchant who had some questions concerning a request for a credit card receipt he had recieved. He was on his next to last day to respond, had been out of town for awhile, and was trying to get more information on the request.
Again, like any other call, I explained to the merchant that we do not have access to the cardholder's name or personal data as we do not actually work for the cardholder or their bank. I was, however, able to give more transaction information and payment information. So I sat there, for the next 15-20 minutes, as the man goes looking for the transaction. Now, at this point it is important to note, the man has told me that he is at his home, not his office, and as such does not have all his documents with him. But he's looking anyway. Okay, did you commit that to memory? Let me highlight that in bold. He was not at his office and did not have all his information. Okay, moving on.
Anyway, at the end of this little scavanger hunt, he tells me he just has no information on this transaction and that we, as his advocates, need to go back to the cardholder's bank and get the cardholder's name because, "let me tell you, sometimes there are idiots on that side that don't know what they are doing." I explain to him that we can not do that. Well, we can, physically, call the bank and ask. And the bank, can and will, physically tell us to sit on it and rotate. I also informed him that the information that the bank sent us matches what we show coming from his terminal. And this is where apparently I went wrong.

Suddenly, from kind, quiet, understanding old man, to howler monkey. He starts screeming at me about how dare I be so arrogant. At this point I'm quite confused. When had I been arrogant? How dare I be so arrogant to say that I absolutely could not be wrong. I'm sorry sir, I did not actually say that. Well, yes I did, I said that I absolutely could not be wrong. At this point, he finds it necessary to inform me that he is 62 years old and that while usually in a situation like this he is wrong 99% of the time, that still leaves 1% of the time that he is right and how dare I be so arrogant as to say that that chance didn't exist.
Then he goes on to talk about how he almost had left our company (by now I was wishing he HAD) due to technical problems, and that he finally had to call the VP of operations (who I would like to point out is a VP in nothing more than paper... to SOUND important) who thanked him so much for helping find this problem that she sent him one of our companies logo'ed duffle bags. And if I'm ever in Virginia I have to swing by and see his duffle bag. And he was so damned proud of his duffle bag... that anyone could buy for less than $30.
Well, for 15 minutes I listen to this guy talk about his duffle bag, and how arrogant I am. This whole time he is screaming like Bullet Ant on the war path, and I was speaking in a very calm, collected tone. Finally, after explaining that I couldn't email the proof of what we show due to security reasons but I could fax, he gives me a fax number. Then he tells me that he wants me to call him back the next day, and WHEN he is right he wants me to apologize to him for my arrogance. Do remember that all this time he is not at his office and doesn't have all his information.
Oh, but it gets better. Remember that fax number he gave? I read it back and confirmed it. It doesn't work. Screw it, I don't want to deal with this guy any more, so I give it to a manager to call back. And she does. And the number I have, and the number he gave her... off by one number. An 8 and a 6. And as soon as he hears this, he explodes on her about this just shows how arrogant we are and proves that we can make mistakes, and that she should be on her knees thanking him profusely when her next paycheck came in, because if it weren't for merchants like him, she wouldn't have a job.

However, there is just a little bit more. The next day, I get a call in from this nice, soft spoken old fellow who is calling in to get some things figured out and to explain the situation. And then I get to look at his account. It's the same guy. He conspicuously spends the next ten minutes talking to me and not mentioning the day before at all, trying to act like he had never called in at all. I was repressing laughing so hard. I really wanted to ask him for an apology, but figured that would just show how "arrogant" I was and just escalate things again. So I handled the phone call correctly. And what did the issue turn out to be? One of his employees had put information in incorrectly back in June, and then re-ran everything that didn't go through at the end of the year.
All this came clear... once he got to his office, and had all his information.

So, for this week, Steve of Virginia. You sir, are an idiot.

He's got the look

So, on the tail end of super Tuesday, I felt it was time to talk about a very important man. A man who has influenced many lives. A simple, italian plumber. This is a seriously awesome article.
I mean think about it. We gamers do expect a certain level of believability in our games. Not "could that really happen", more like "does that look right." Would Mario have grown to be quite so popular of a character if he were the littl italian plumber from Brooklyn with a Fu Manchu? No, we wouldn't have bought into the premise. What about some of those others they show? Frank Zappa? Magnum P.I.? Hector Poirot? Chaplin? Staline? George Michael? PRINCE? No. He had to have that bushy, fluffy, italian esque mustache for use to buy into that loveable character. And speaking of loveable, I doubt he would have been able to fit with all his awesome costumes with any other facial hair combination.

So, I just want everyone to think during this tumultous election... think, REMEMBER those who have always been their for the people! Remember the man who will always save you, and never burn you in the end.

Had the Hat trick, going once more

So, I've already scored a hat trick for the day, except that one of the posts should have been yesterdays, so here is the real thing.

So, I've been feeling that my previous posts have been leaning in a very caustic direction, and not wanting this to be some pseudo-sarcastic emo panty-rant blog, I decided to add something a little on the lighter side.

First off, I have last minute runners up to the "Idiot of the Week" contest. Let's give a big hand to these guys for coming in just under the wire, but just a bit short. First off we have a man in Connecticut who thought he had a great idea for sharing his love of herbatology. "Honest! I was just at McDonald's to get my diploma, I mean, eat!"

The second runner up is a local man here in Colorado who assaulted a hiker this weekend with a club after running screaming at them. The assalant somehow managed to fall and lose his weapon at which point the wife of the victim picked up the weapon, and showed the attacker how to use it. I wonder if he ran off screaming too. I'm currently not sure who to feel more sorry for.

With all the competitions to be the first whatever in space, good news for some old friends. That's right, Lucy's in the Sky with Diamonds!

I love it what people can come up with when they have nothing better to do with their time. We humans are so relevant to the world around us. LOL

And finally, in keeping with my news that the future is now, I bring you this little jewel of information. I'm just waiting for the first story the hyperspace, warp, or some other form of efficient interstellar travel, I'm quitting my job, waiting for the lightsabers to come out, and then it is SO on!

Late Link Dump for 01/31/08

Good morning everyone. Lots of ground to cover today and not a lot of time. I apologize for the lack of update yesterday as my actual job kept me rather busy. So, here's the best for January 1st.

Looks like life is pretty dull for Paleontologist these days. Not a lot left to be found to go around, I guess. Speaking of enough to go around, turns out Domino's Pizza has an interesting definition of the word "unlimited".
In the realm of things that are quite limited, recent news lets us know that Gas prices are on the rise again and the final Bush Budget might leave people feeling a little skim on the homelands. We may want to look for alternate power before too long. Someone might drown.

As a gamer, I felt it was time to vote on the issues at hand. Important news in the gaming world... I'll leave Halo and Smash Bros. to everyone else to cover. I'm talking about two old friends.

I have depressing news, and because I don't like to end with this crap, I'm putting it here in the middle.

So we'll follow that with a Random Stat. Again, I love the Brits.

In science and health news, a shot might not be enough, and someone needs to remember to turn the heater off when they leave for the day. Spider volcano Strange things are being sent back to us from the surface of Mercury.

Life is becoming interesting for school kids these days. Quickfire link line: Quiz show classroom, Rove routed, Green Eggs and Ham revival, awesome kid critic, and the great Mc-diploma idea in Britain.

In the realm of human rights, waterboarding has become a hot topic. And people, remember, there are easier ways to research what people are talking about.

Entertainment news raps us up for the day with a quick look at what is theater, and what shouldn't be.

And one last thing...
Isabella Rossellini freaks me out

Link Dump 01/29/08

I really don't want to be just another Blog in the sea of Blogs on the Blogosphere who is just a Blog of regurgitated Blogs. I do want to see how many times I can put the word Blog in a single sentance and have it still be 1) a real sentance, 2) accurate usage of the word, and 3) not overly annoying.

That having been said, there are quite a few things that I find in my daily readings, that are steadily growing every day, that while I may find interesting, have been discussed well enough by those who did it. Thus, link dumps to pass them along to you.

First we start the day off with a story of a little lost shooting star. That sort of incident makes one thing that perhaps New York should rethink some of their current policies. I'm just saying.

Potential good news for cronic pain sufferers. Thanks to the ugliest little rodent in the world. However, it's been my experiance that feeling pain is usually healthy. Feeling pain lets you know that, "Gee, I cut my foot on that rock and am now bleeding out. I should do something about it." But that's just me.

On the scientific front, we find that our design capability far surpasses our power limitations. Well, usually.

In movie news, a great new campy monster film has been bought up by Slamdance to be released. I'm excited.

Parents, rejoice! There is now less reason than ever to spend time with your kids. While your at it, don't forget to leave them a picture of you so they can remember what you looked like.

Random Stat.

A reminder to Big Brother. He has missed his time frame by 24 years. Give it up. Please. Either that or the human race will have to work on alternate forms of communication. Hey, I bet we'd cut the amount of Spam that way.

To close out the dump, one final "OOPS" for you science geeks to chuckle about and a heartwarming story about a super little guy who just wanted to see the world.

That's your link dump for Tuesday, January 29th, 2008

So this is new for me

Well, here it is world. Finally stepping into the 21st century and joining the army of bloggers around the world, raising my one tiny voice in hopes that someone listens. Well, actually, to tell the truth, I don't care if anyone listens. I just want to write.
So, here is a little about me and what you can expect from this blog, should you actually find it worth browsing from time to time.
First off, as anyone who knows me knows, the reason behind the name of this blog is because I am slightly obsessed with Lewis Carroll, specifically the character of the Mad Hatter. Don't get me started on Lewis Carroll unless you have a few hours to listen to me. I myself am a strange sort of intellectual. What that means is, there are somethings I'm very smart about. And some things I'm absolutely clueless about. You'll probably learn where the fence between those two sides lie pretty quick if you read this. However, on the flip side I do still know just a little about most things that if you aren't careful, I'll fool you into thinking that I know more than I do. I'm tricky like that.
I'm also pretty cynical.

As for what to expect in this Blog, for anyone who has read Alice in Wonderland and remembers the Tea Party, you'll remember that the topics of conversation were all over the place. This is a dump for my brain. So expect it to be the same. I give much thanks to Zefrank for his wonderful discourse on ideas. If you do not know of or pay attention to this man, let me encourage you too.
I do plan to have at least one update a week, but I am shooting for more. On Fridays, watch for "Idiot of the week". This will be a running commentary on the unstoppable stupidity of the "dominate race" on this planet, and hopefully help you wonder how any of us managed to pull our opposable thumb out of our collective asses. It will focus on whomever catches my ire, be it someone public on the news or someone private who I work with or run into in my everyday life. Fear not readers, for I am not immune to this scathing report. Don't be surprised to see myself show up a few times as no one knows my own stupidity like myself.
As for any other posts, whatever moves me that day. Don't expect a pattern. So, with all that having been said, I raise my glass to whomever has sat at my table, let the party begin.